Mama Rising

This post is brought to you by school holiday induced, post-vomiting bug reflections... Why do the children's arguments and dynamics feel like so much hard work for me? Most often, the conflicts they have- for example, this morning, whether cows get nits or not- I don't have a particular investment in. And, short of the effects on their connection with each other, I don't have an investment in the outcome of the conflict. It either doesn't matter to me, or the level of passionate intensity they feel for the issue is much higher than I have. (Do cows get nits? Hit me up in the comments if you know, because it would be nice to solve one problem today). So it's not- generally- the content that is a trigger for me. At least not today, for the internal dynamic I am feeling. And dynamic it is, because it is a mirror of the tension that is birthed in me in the conflict with each other. It's an empathetic but unprocessed manifestation of their 'stuf...

Being born of blood. This is our molecular foundation. It is the basic building block of our physicality, the container for our DNA, and also the first, smallest part of the canvas on which that DNA becomes manifest. Photo by  Matteo Vistocco  on  Unsplash Blood is our first home: when the newly awakened and enlivened union of pure forms of Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine come together, that particle falls into a soft bed of blood, not yet human, but of human, of blood. That form, evolving and catalysing, nests within blood and is then fed, again by blood. Blood as the vessel and blood as the river through which all requirements may be brought. To life. Into love. Photo by  Joel Filipe  on  Unsplash Where is the point where we become repulsed by this symbol of life, embodied? Is in in the medicalisation of pregnancy, where through antenatal testing, blood becomes a readable formula for all that may go wrong (and even that, the...

In this moment, I can only see the things undone, The things not completed, or even started Those abandoned a bare scrap past intention, Because the argument, or the sick child, or the bottom that needs wiping or the phone call that I can't miss again or Mostly, the dragging fatigue Calls me away Photo by  Ricky Kharawala  on  Unsplash The things undone, they undo me The lawn needing mowing The weedy vines that are creeping with dexterity and speed across a growing circumference of the yard The dirty rug that needs washing The potato crisp crumbs mashed into the carpet that needs vacuuming The child who had a fever last night, who is running around naked and snotty, The dirty cut on a toe that needs cleaning The sheets that need changing and oh God, the washing, the dishes, the lunch boxes the child now crying because I lost my temper, and for a moment, my temper Made me lose connection with my heart. Photo by  Shrey ...

All I can do, is write from my heart today. After a mostly joyous, sometimes tempestuous, and nearly constantly exhausting eight weeks of school holidays, today my children returned to school. The oldest is now in Class 5, the second is starting Class One- a significant milestone in the Steiner Education approach and the third joins his brother and sister at the same campus for the first time, in the second year of kindergarten the school offers (the littlest is still tucked firmly under my wing at home). Ready for the new year of school There are days when time loses it's regular pacing and quickens against the social fabric of our family life. Today was one such day. Time is never a constant- in fact, it is a construct, and far less linear than we currently believe. The summer was full of the sweet humming notes  of slow mornings, swims in the river, sweaty days in which we could do nothing but lay around, stories, tree climbing, trampolining and gardening. This ...

Today’s musings were inspired by the lovely Kate Alexandra - a yoga and mindfulness practitioner and creator of the Radical Self Care Project. Kate’s work revolves around building a reflective, authentic self care process which is as individual as we are. In a pocket of sunny late afternoon time whilst the kids played on the trampoline with water and dishwashing liquid (and only the bare minimum of tears!) I listened to Episode 17 of her podcast entitled “The Big Exhale: Finish the year connected and clear”. The wisdom that resonated most boldly in me, from this episode, was how mindsets can effect our experience of life: the narrative we feed ourselves that will ultimately inform our perspectives, interpretations and the way we meet ourselves in life. There are two broad types of mindset- the growth mindset, and the fixed mindset. The growth mindset is a container in which we can exercise flexibility in our perspectives, where we can soul stretch and be curious abou...